One of the reasons I am currently on a leave of absence (aside from spending more time with the kids), is that I really don't like working. This is not to say that I like to lounge around and decompose, but ... there must be more to life than simply toiling away.

A few weeks ago (the weekends of May 21 and 28) I had to go in to work to help with some problems they were having. Sofia (my wife), hoped that I would go to work and realize that I really like it. Of course, the opposite was true - I realized how much I hate it. By Sunday night I was down and depressed. I am not sure if there is anything that can trigger a bout of depression in me other than a day of work.

My leave of absence is nearing its end and I have to give an answer to my company when (or if) I will be returning. It is a hard decision. I can't say the work environment is bad, the pay and benefits are excellent. But ... I cannot stand the tedious drudgery that is called making a living. Maybe I am spoiled - certainly, there are many who have a worse life than I.

I had hoped to come up with some brilliant ideas for self employment during my leave, but ... well, nothing has come to mind yet. I have some ideas, but they are more desperate grasps at straws.

Another realization that has come during this period is that I have, somewhere over the past few years, lost any sense of defining identity.


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