From the Devil's Dictionary

CHRISTIAN, n.
One who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor. One who follows the teachings of Christ in so far as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.

Comments

ghee said…
cant get it Richard...

Devil Dictionary??

that was absurd!!

Are you reading it?
Richard said…
Don't worry, there is nothing Satanic about it.

It is a cynical dictionary written by Ambrose Bierce. Some of the definitions are quite funny (like this one - I think), others are just dull.

Some other choice ones include:

FRIENDSHIP, n.
A ship big enough to carry two in fair weather, but only one in foul.
INFIDEL, n.
In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople, one who does.
INSURRECTION, n.
An unsuccessful revolution.
LAWYER, n.
One skilled in circumvention of the law.
LOVE, n.
A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the influences under which he incurred the disorder. This disease, like caries and many other ailments, is prevalent only among civilized races living under artificial conditions; barbarous nations breathing pure air and eating simple food enjoy immunity from its ravages. It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the physician than to the patient.

You can click on the title of the blog and have it take you to an online version of it.

I first became aware of it through Stan Kelly Bootle's "Computer Contradictionary", which was inspired by Ambrose Bierce's work.
ghee said…
ahh,ok,thanx Richard..you enlightened me LOL!

Now,I found them funny...i overreacted huh? :D
Richard said…
Reminds me of the time my mother found a book of Immoral Poems of the English Language in my room.

She said that she spent some time looking through it before realizing it was "Immortal" and not "Immoral" poems.

:-)
Lunafish said…
Oh, I didn't read your comments before I created a post to compliment your post. Those are quite entertaining definitions.
Richard said…
I won't claim all the definitions are rib-tickling, but there are definitely a number of wry ones.

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