A great injustice

There are a number of injustices in this world. One of the greatest, I think, is that men can not bear children.

I would love to have been able to bear a child or two or ten. I envied Sofia when she was pregnant. Aside from looking absolutely gorgeous - the "glow" as it is described (it is like being in a constant state of ovulation - women are so much prettier when they are ovulating), I loved to touch her belly, to feel its form, its tightness, to delight in sensing the odd kick.

I wished I could feel the life growing inside me, moving in me, filling me.

Men miss out on the closeness that exists between a mother and child. We can never know what it is like to bear life, to feel its joy within us. To nurture and nourish the child at our breast.

Sure, we can hold our children, tenderly kiss and caress them, but there is a level of intimacy we can never know and for that I am jealous.

Every woman I have mentioned this to thinks I am crazy - all they ever seem to comment on is how painful delivery was, the discomfort in the late stages of pregnancy and how men could never stand the pain.

A number of my male friends agree with me - some only as far as nursing, but others think being pregnant would be nice.

Then of course, there are those with no sense of imagination and a narrowly formed world view who look aghast upon me as I dare threaten to turn the well established order upon its head.

I can say that I am sad that I could never be a mother - a carrier and nurturer of life, rather than just a depositor of seed.

Do you think the man who sells the seed to the farmer has the same connection to the fruit of the harvest as the farmer? Does he enjoy and appreciate the produce as much?

Image nabbed form here


Sassy Lady said…
I'm not one of those women who thinks that is is crazy for a man to get pregnant and give birth..

If possible I want them to share the joy when the bb starts moving inside, the morning sickness, the tightness and the growth of the belly and the discomfortness u get when the tummy is big and its hard to get the right position to sleep..

Then comes the labour..it is not as painful as some describes it...so far the longest of my three labours was only one and a half hours..not dat painful just waiting for he cervis to dilate to the 'proposed' 10cm..hee

But if there is a way for the men to get pregnant, then I will support them all the way..
Barbara said…
I loved being pregnant. I am glad I am a woman and can exprience it.
LeeCooper said…
I think woman are designed to be beautiful. And they are most beautiful when they are pregnant.

Men on the other hand, are design to appreciate that beauty. It should stay that way.
vina said…
oh, i have never heard a guy say that. that's so...refreshing, and so great of you!

but i hope you wouldn't look like arnold schwarzeneger (darn, i don't know if i spelled it right) like he did in that movie. what was that called?
Richard said…
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Richard said…
sassy: Wow! you are fast at delivery. Officially, labour doesn't start until you are 5cm dilated - I know a number of women would disagree.

I think it is a great shame men cannot experience the joy of life in the same way women can.

barbara: happy to hear that.

leecooper: I am not suggesting that it is possible or moral for a man to get pregnant. I am simply saying that I view it as a great injustice that we cannot experience the joy of bearing life. Aside from reproductive roles, I do not really see men or women as being specifically designed for anything other than goodness. While there are definite differences between men and women, I do not think they should be used to stereotype, pigeonhole, or otherwise assign function.

I wonder if you have the same problem I have? To me, all women are different, they look different, smell different, sound different - yet they are beautiful. Men on the other hand, all look the same to me - I have a really, really hard time telling them apart. Maybe this is a consequence of evolution - all men are competitors, consequently they all get lumped together.

vina: I remember hearing about the movie, but I never saw it. I look pretty much like my avatar – except 30 years older, heavier and tired. I think most guys are afraid to say anything that might make them appear ... erm ... less macho (as well, sometimes it seems all men ever think about is beer, sports and sex).
ghee said…
it`s a relief to hear that from a "macho guy" like you LOL!

its so unfair that you dont know the fantastic feelings and the risk of being a pregnant :)

but at least,you wanted to volunteer if its possible to happen..

yeah,women are wonderful,richard..,we have wombs,loving hands and sweet(sometimes) harsh lips LOL!
LeeCooper said…
Richard.. hee, very true. Evey woman is different and beautiful in their own ways. Sometimes that makes it hard to stay faithful to one but that's where commitment and trust comes in.
Coffee fairy said…
wow, this is really interesting to hear from a man, Richard. But I am so glad about it. I remember my aunt said she felt like she experienced a miracle when she gave birth and the doctor placed her baby on her chest. I am looking forward also to the day I can experience the privilege of giving birth.

Yup, I recommend you watch the Arnold S. movie. (sorry forgot the title). =)
vina said…
Junior! the title of that movie is Junior!
Richard said…
ghee: I don't think "macho" is a word you could use to describe me.

leecooper: I don't think fidelity is that hard. You just have to be true to what you want.

coffee fairy: I was present for the birth of both my kids and I can assure you that they were the 2 best moments in my life:.

vina: thanks!
Mum2One said…
Richard, funny enough, a few years back I saw an article on Times magazine where a man was carrying a child that was artificially planted and they documented all his progress during his pregnancy. You should see if you can find it on the net.

But yes, experiences of carrying a child are priviledges of a woman that is very special and precious. It's a compensation for the pain at child birth. I think it would be such a loss to not experience that aspect of life as a woman and for those who can have children but choose not to, I feel sorry that they are missing out on something so invaluable.
Richard said…
mum2one: while implantation would not be terribly difficult, the problem is that there is no womb in a man, as well, he would have to be on constant hormones, and assuming the zygote took hold, it would be very much like an ectopic pregancy - or perhaps worse.

But, there are always weird (and untrue) stories coming out. I recall several years ago (probably 20 or more) about tales of hemaphrodites from the Philippines.
Coffee fairy said…
Hmm, hermaphrodites in the Philippines? The only thing I could remember was when I was a kid there was this guy who claimed he was pregnant and the news spread out so fast and before we know it, he was on all the news all over the world, only to end with a press release that his pregnancy was a hoax. Hmm, I should probably find an article about that.
Mum2One said…
Could they have implanted the womb too?
Richard said…
coffee fairy: we are probably thinking about the same story.

mum2one: implanting a womb is not that trivial (men are just not made for it). As well, there is the whole hormone thing to consider as well.

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