Elixir
I would love to find something that could instantly get me to put procrastination behind me.There are numerous reasons why I procrastinate, but I think it boils down to 3 core reasons:
(1) Bleh. Putting off doing something I don’t want to do.
(2) Mood. I’m waiting for that epiphany when everything clicks into place, the celestial spheres fall into alignment and I am supreme ruler of my domain.
(3) Urgency. Or, rather, lack of. I find it difficult to feel a great sense of urgency for most things, most deadlines and timelines seem artificially arbitrary.
I think it is waiting for the perfect time that is killing me (not literally). I can easily step back and see that I have accomplished much, but there is more I want to do. My greatest fear is not having achieved all that I was capable of achieving.
Being comfortable is one problem. Struggling to eke out an existence is another. Caught between the two is me. Comfortable, but rather unfulfilled, but afraid of stepping out for fear of losing what I have and being forced to struggle to provide the basic needs. So I keep waiting for everything to be right.
On the other hand, what I want to do with my life has little focus. I think success is easier for those who are narrowly and obsessively focussed with a single goal and objective. I am a capricious dilettante.
What are some of the things I would like to try my hand at (these are dreams / aspirations / hopes I’ve had for at least 5 years or more – no point including transitory distractions)?
(1) Selling quality Peruvian Alpaca / Vicuna sweaters (Vicuna is very soft and not at all itchy like wool)
(2) Run a children’s science / discovery museum
(3) Publish children’s books (hence the interest in learning how to draw so I can do my own illustrations)
(4) Publish a children’s science magazine
(5) Publish an amateur scientist magazine
(6) Develop ambulatory medical monitoring devices
(7) Develop virtual reality theatre / role playing concept
(8) Explore massively distributed computing (the xbox 360 makes me drool because it is a 6 core computer at a truly affordable price … and I have no interest in playing games. For those who are curious, I am currently devoting some time to investigating general purpose computing on graphics cards )
(9) Get Elizabeth Boyer’s “The Troll’s Grindstone” made into a film (I’d also like to see Robert O’Riordan’s “Cadre One” made into a film as well)
(10) Do a remake of “The Prisoner”
(11) Hobnob with international people. I still recall with great fondness my days socializing with international students at university.
So what do some of my dreams tell me? That I am in the wrong field?
Where is that magical elixir, the philosopher’s stone that will spur me on to doing stuff instead of dreaming about it?
Grabbed the image from here.
[29-December-2005: fixed broken hyperlinks]
Comments
It seems you like science and children, right? Maybe you should take up a cource on early childhood education. :)
Bee: I have thought about teaching. I was even on a supply list for adult education course (in computers of course) - but never got called :(
My dad taught for several years at college, so I know the pros and cons of it.
Sofia sometimes suggests I go into teaching. Maybe I will. (On the other hand, I have also heard horror stories from my friend Sally mentioned above - who is a grade school teacher).
I guess procastination inflicts everyone. I am no different. But I guess if you have a burning desire to accomplish your dream, just move forward even if it means one inch a day.
I love teaching too, so I went around looking for tuition opportunities and found vacancies in a neighbourhood tuition school.
Yes, the kids may be a screaming nightmare sometimes, but they are also awfully cute. They draw pics of you (which means they really like you); they called me "Miss Tan" in the most adorable voice; they offered their half-eaten breakfast to me.
And they managed to make me stay as a teacher for three years. I just could not bring myself to leave these kids.
If you really like being with kids, try your hand at setting up something small. Maybe a science workshop for your friends' kids; and from there you can create worksheets and demonstration tips, which you can later transfer into a newsletter, a magazine or a book.
Start today with research. THere are tons of materials on the internet. That should motivate you to move ahead and take the first step.
I will be supporting you!!!
The problem is that I think too much. So I always manage to talk myself out of it.
The children's book market is really saturated - and there are quite a lot of pretty poor books out there. So, I just make up stories for my kids.
I spent a few years doing children's liturgy at my church as well as catachetical preperation. As you might imagine, my lessons were always way more philosophical than the other teachers' - but I always had good feedback from the parents. I always tried to engage the kids to ask questions and think about possible answers before I gave them any thoughts I might have. Bringing myself down to the 7 year old mind was always difficult, but I think they prefered to be engaged as "equals" rather than talked down to.