The 50% solution
People often talk about relationships being 50-50.
I disagree, if your contribution to a relationship is only 50%, then that relationship will soon be over.
Why? Because there are days when one partner or the other, simply is not going to be able to give their 50%. On these days, there is a gap / gulf between the two. Once you get enough days with a gulf between the two, the relationship falls apart.
Relationships are 100-100. Each member of the relationship gives 100%. This way, on days when one or the other or both are unable to give 100%, they are covered. And hopefully, the number of days when there is a gap between the two is either zero or very few.
I disagree, if your contribution to a relationship is only 50%, then that relationship will soon be over.
Why? Because there are days when one partner or the other, simply is not going to be able to give their 50%. On these days, there is a gap / gulf between the two. Once you get enough days with a gulf between the two, the relationship falls apart.
Relationships are 100-100. Each member of the relationship gives 100%. This way, on days when one or the other or both are unable to give 100%, they are covered. And hopefully, the number of days when there is a gap between the two is either zero or very few.
Comments
So many problems come from comparing the sweetheart to the list of what a sweetheart should be. The list is the problem.
Most guys seem to be unwilling to commit 100% most time or they tend to waver in the commitment.
ingrid: Cool! Glad I could offer another point of view.
Bee: I have to confess that I never understood why people get into relationships they are unwilling to commit to or persist in a relationship when it is clear the other is not willing to commit. Commitment in relationships is probably the only thing in my life I have ever had really, really clear in my mind. So, in that regard I am definitely atypical (and in so many other ways too ...). To me there is no relationship if there is no commitment - just a waste of time.
Striking a balance is usually unachievable; be it 50 or 100, as always its the imbalance that caused the fall-offs.
I agree with richard's: "To me there is no relationship if there is no commitment - just a waste of time."
Isn't all relationships start as casual friends without any commitment? Why would it be as waste of time to have casual relationship just as friends?
LFY: there is always imbalance, that is why both must be committed to doing more than just "their fair share" because there will be days when they are called upon to do more and days when they are unable to fulfill their share. So there needs to be overlap.
bee: you are correct that all relationships start of casual Friendships in their various stages have differing demands. I was focussed on the couple / partner / mate relationship as opposed to the more general relationship. Sofia is my mate and my relationship with her is not just about meeting her halfway.
To me, the word "relationship" is very general... so I don't see the 50-50 or 100-100 an issue.
What I see in most couples is an imbalance of different %, e.g. 40-60, 30-70, etc... very hard to find the 100-100 cases.
You must be very blessed to have found 100-100 in your relationship.
Happy for u. :)